Frustrations of a stay-at-home mom

Let me preface this entry by saying that I wouldn’t trade my job for the world. Truly. But every job has its ups and downs. I could just pretend that our days are flawless, our schedule like a science. But I would be deceiving myself. I have decided that it is healthy to vent; that I am a better mother if I don’t let my aggravation stay bottled up inside. I also believe that the only person who will genuinely recognize the following words, as if she wrote them herself, is another stay at home (work at home) mother.

Naps drain my energy like nothing else. Or lack of naps, I should say. Some days I spend an entire two-hour period just trying to get Jack to take his afternoon nap. The a.m. nap is a breeze. He is still needing two naps a day though. The frustration lies in looking at his tired, red tinged eyes, seeing him yawn and rub his face, yet still fight the peaceful rest that a nap promises. After he finally surrenders, I collapse on my own bed like a boxer being knocked out in the ring. A long, slow, listless fall that ends with me laying in a zombie like state for about 5 minutes. As much as I would love to slip in to a calm slumber myself, this is my “get things done” time. Which leads me to my next gripe….

These days I can’t seem to get anything done when Jack is awake. I am so busy watching him, chasing him, feeding him, moving him from room to room, and having him attached to my pants dragging behind me that no project is ever finished. The dishwasher is half emptied because I had to take him out of it and close the door; the floors are partially cleaned because the vacuum cleaner scares the crap out of him; the bathrooms are not so sparkling because I don’t want to spray chemicals in Jack’s presence. Other stay at home mothers may think I am wimpy; just bitching and complaining when, in reality, things aren’t that bad. I agree…..life truly is magnificent. I JUST NEED SOME BALANCE!…..

Last but not least, I miss “me” time. Yes, I do frequent the gym these days. Fair enough. In spite of this, while I am sweating my ass off on the treadmill or being whipped in to fighting shape by Angie (love her!), my mind is involuntarily making a grocery list, deciding which phone calls to return that evening, determining which errands to run the next day, thinking of all the house cleaning I need to do…..I could go on. Point being, I want to turn off. Just for a moment. I want to read without being interrupted; I want a pedicure with no distractions.

Just as rainy days make you appreciate the splendid shining sun, the frustrations I have as a stay at home mother cause me to be genuinely grateful for the good times we have, which honestly comprises about 99% of the time. As flustered as I get, I just have to remind myself that I have a beautiful, bright, curious son who sees the world as his to explore. I will explore it with him, ups and downs.